"Don't worry; my dog is very gentle."

People often say this as their dog's teeth are gripping your ankle. They make it seem as if you are paranoid when their beloved beast bares its teeth, foams at the mouth, and glares at you as if you eat puppy burgers. The worst was when my kids were toddlers. We'd be out for a walk, and suddenly, some menacing creature way taller than a toddler would bound over to us. I mean, wouldn't you be a little intimidated by a 4-legged, muscular, barking thing that towered over you and was clearly not in the control of its delusional owner? But said owner inevitably says in the cloying, little voice you use when you talk to an infant, "Oh, he's very gentle. Bruiser would never hurt anyone. Bruiser just wants to play!"